i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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