We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
