He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
