So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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