It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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