didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
