tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
