Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
