Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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