Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
either way he was missing a nipple.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
