Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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