Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
