Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
