Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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