What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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