they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
