he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
