We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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