oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
