covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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