I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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