know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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