I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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