is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
worst night to have a conscience
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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