OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
