its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
