Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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