"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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