He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I deserve to be covered in dicks
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
