If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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