She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
