It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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