Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
