and she was petting her beer can
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
