I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
