We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
