He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
