And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
