Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
