I wish I could teleport
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We left the knife in your bed.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
