Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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