oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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