You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
