i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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