Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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