i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
