Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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