is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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