Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
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I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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