Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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