I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
