Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
