Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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