what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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