hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
