the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
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