Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
