in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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