yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
